If tears can build a stairway, and memories a lane. I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

"Because you loved me, I will be with you forever!"
Author: Renee Moon

October 24th-My Dad tried to give my Mom a boost for dinner. Mom had stopped eating due to the Parkinson's but was still able to drink water and boost. Mom drank the boost and some water.

October 25th-My Dad started his day out like any other morning. He had a cup of coffee while Mom slept a bit. He went to give Mom a boost and she refused. Dad tried to give her some water with her morning pills, Mom refused. My dad then tried using a syringe with a little water to try and get Mom to take her pills...Mom started to choke. My Dad called Hospice right away. The nurse (Karen) told my Dad to not give Mom anything at this point and that she was on her way to our house. About noon my Dad came upstairs to our office where Ken and I were working, he was crying and said that we needed to come downstairs and speak with Karen. Karen informed us that Mom would not make it much longer and that we were down to hours. Karen felt it was best to call our boys home.
My Mom's breathing was in what Hospice informed us was the first stage. Mom sounded like she was gasping for air. There was no movement in her body at all and her eyes were half closed. Dad laid a bible next to her that he had given her when they were first married. I laid the rosary that I bought Mom from the Vatican on the bible...Mom clutched a statue of The Virgin Mary in her hand.
By late afternoon, all four boys had arrived and were sitting with their Grandmother. My Mom opened her eyes for a moment when she heard her four grandson's voices..this was the last time Mom's eyes opened.

October 26th-Mom made it through the night. She was never alone. My Dad held her all night long...rubbing her face and often crying. Telling her how special she is and how much he loved her. Mom's breathing changed to a rattle. Music continued to change softly in the background (my Mom loved music). My dad was upset that the day was so dreary...Mom hated the dark clouds. I ran out and bought a Christmas Tree for Mom's room. I wanted to share one more Christmas with my Mom...she loved the lights on the tree. I set up the small tree in her room so that she could see it. Mom's eyes remained 3/4 closed, but I knew in my heart she could see the tree. Dad, Ken and I spent the day with Mom...never leaving her side. We rubbed her check, told her how much she is loved and told stories. There was even some laughter through out the day.

October 27th-Mom made it through the night but her breathing had changed. Karen (the Hospice nurse) said that Mom would not make it but hours now. Her breathing was barely there and no food/water since Monday night. Tyler and Kenny spent the day in and out of Mom's room. Chris came over to sit with Mom. Mom's skin had now turned grey in color and her eyes hazed over. At one point Mom stopped breathing. Dad and I thought she had left us...she then seized and started breathing again. It was so scary to watch but I was grateful we were there to hold her hand through it. We continued loving Mom..we all told her it was OK to let go. Hospice was surprised that Mom was holding on and continued to ask us if there was something or someone that she could be waiting for. We kept saying no..we are a small family. Dad held Mom all night long...Christmas tree lit and music playing softly.

October 28th-Mom made it through the night. The Hospice nurse, Karen, is baffled. They cannot get a blood pressure reading on Mom. Her eye color is gone now....we feel as though she is suffering and we are now begging God to please take Mom out of her pain. Tyler has to return to school. I felt so sorry for him leaving his Grandmother and saying Good-bye. It's hard when a mother cannot protect her child's heart and take away the pain. Dad and I sit with Mom all day. My Dad naps next to Mom and continues to hold her hand, rub her shoulder and tell her how loved she is. I start to feel as though I can't take it much longer and pray to God for strength.

October 29th-Mom continues to barely breath. Her body weight is probably about 40lbs now. She lays lifeless and we are confused as to how she is holding on why all the suffering. A new hospice nurse comes by the house. The Hospice nurse walked in to Mom's room and started to cry. She said that Mom looked very comfortable and that Dad was doing a great job with the morphine. Dad shows the nurse the records he has been keeping on her medication. The nurse once again ask us...is there someone or something that she is hanging on to? We are baffled and say no..

October 30th-A new hospice nurse stops by the house. She cleaned mom up and said a prayer. She once again asked us if there was anything we could think of that would keep Mom here? We explained that we had called Mom's aunt in SC and sister in CA..held the phone up to Mom's ear and they both told Mom it was OK to let go. We were all the family Mom had..Chris came over and spent time with his Grandmother. Our dog Lucy was not allowed on my parents bed and never even tried. Today, Lucy laid with Mom and would not get down. Dad continued with his undying love and cuddled Mom all night long. Never leaving her side.

October 31st-We kept the girls home from school, I knew I could not be at their festivities. I needed to be with my Mom. We carved pumpkins and tried our best to make Halloween special for the girls. Watching Mom deteriorate was brutal and so cruel. My neighbors came by with lot's of hugs and prayers. I felt as though I was leaving in a really bad dream...I told Karen (hospice nurse) that it felt wrong that I was asking God to take my Mom...who prays to God to take their Mother away??? Karen told my Dad and I that he had only seen one other case like my Mom's..she was confused and had no answers as to why and how Mom was hanging on..Dad continues to hold Mom and love her. Our little dog Lucy, will not leave Mom's side.

November 1st-It was time to take the girls back to school. After dropping them off I ran to Target. I needed a break. Once in the store I felt this bolt of energy, can't explain it really..but I knew what was keeping Mom here..why she wouldn't let go. I left my cart in the aisle and went home. I told Ken I needed to talk to him right away, I had a revelation (He said "oh oh", always the smartass). Ken said that my Dad needed to shower and he was going to sit with Mom. Both Ken and I went in to Mom's room, pulled up two chairs and sat down. I grabbed Mom's hand. While holding Mom's hand I said to Mom "I get it!!! I know Mom!!! You have been hanging on because you needed me and Ken to see and witness the love between you and Dad". I then looked at Ken and said "You see, Mom knew that things were crazy here. She knew that with everyone here and Livi being hard that we have been bickering more...I promised Mom that I would take care of everyone but she knows I can't take care of everyone unless you and I are OK". I then looked at my husband and said "OMG I love you so so so so much!!!!!!" Ken hugged me with tears in his eyes and said "I love you too so very much"..all along holding Mom's hand...and with that..Mom took a very deep peaceful breath, like a sign of relief and she was gone. Ken and I looked at each other and started to cry...I said "she could not leave until she knew we were going to be OK".

I have told my husband thank God that he was with me or no one would believe this story..

Now we try to heal..thank you to all the prayer warriors out there!!! My family will be forever grateful to all of my FB friends who constantly posted, prayed and emailed me!! Your friendship means the world to me!!! From the bottom of my heart thank you for sticking with me through out our journey and for always being there!!! I love you and I promise I will write personal notes to each and every one of you.